Blogatology

Today’s contribution from An Infinite Number of Monkeys:

 Xifjonbkf8irga-iobklmiouj8jpoiiknmehicanseerussiafrommyfrontporchoiikn

Bafkdfoiewiogkdgfkdfsioewrknfbklbfklgadfopiefwkvkldsfiksdfioienbkdiodsf

Eibfnbkoifklbklbklnbfdieupfdbklyour mileage may vary. Void where prohibited. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Side effects may include nausea, dizziness, runny nose, bloating, constipation, sneezing, temporary hearing loss, bleeding gums, ingrown toenails and skin rash. On rare occasions, your head may explode. Discontinue use if these symptoms persist for more than two weeks. Ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough for sex. If not, ask what good he is. Not for use by ages 14 and younger, 33-46 or 55 and older. Not to be used topically. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while using. May cause drowsiness. Not for use by diabetics or those with heart, lung or stomach ailments. Take with meals, drinking at least two glasses of water. Consult your physician before using if you are currently taking antidepressants, blood thinners, muscle relaxants, medication for high blood pressure, or Rolaids.Rebroadcast, retransmission or other use without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited. May not be suitable for xleiewobkmgdklsauioetklbfkldvanjkefiewflf bllksdkdlskldsnknbknldgvs

Esieklnbfkdbsklnsdblnkdsbknlsdb kldbsknldbsknldbsknlsdbknldbsnkldbs 

Checking in with the feed from our outsourced contributors, An Infinite Number of  Monkeys:

Oiebn5hijbknvdpa94jrc sl;knkln oi4lknmklanoi jkeweoin

WEWO1Askeitdependswhatthedefinitionofisisbiueiuhbkjeol

ain the last train to Clarksville,

And I’ll meet you at the station.

You can be be there by four thirty,

‘Cause I made your reservation.

Don’t be slow, oh, no, no, no!

Oh, no, no, no!

‘Cause I’m leavin’ in the morning

And I must see you again

We’ll have one more night together

‘Til the morning brings my train.

And I must go, oh, no, no, no!

Oh, no, no, no!

And I don’t know if I’m ever coming home.

Take the last train to Clarksville.

I’ll be waiting at the station.

We’ll have time for coffee flavored kisses

And a bit of conversation.

Oh… Oh, no, no, no!

Oh, na, na, bananabananabananabananabananabananabananabananabananabanana

bananabananabananabananabananabananabananabanana …

A check on the feed from our outsourced contributors, An Infinite Number of Monkeys, turned this up today:

 Uaeisoi48jk p0waitij awrojijoij iah839283joij aa8iii kidfn./zsofaejtkn  uihlm;l9u08hjkinqwlkns poiah3r;lvoij;h aoiwomrt4ojt34jonkn2lkrjn2o3ijran ;lakshjlrkjrlijlisjnienloinl k ri3towsoeasyevenacavemancandoit3oij2i ;jkaoij3ov3 a lknafilnjit was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way–in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only theeigoijiknklnlkerhoiiojjlke l;wkrlknklnhklnrhwelkn;hlkren;

Great. We contract out for original material and get the most over-quoted opening to a novel in the history of journalism.

Oh, well, we’ll keep with it and see what happens.

Yes, I am outsourcing some of my work.

It remains highly controversial, but everyone’s doing it — software firms, airlines, newspapers, surgeons. (Yes, once you’re under the anesthetic, the doctor hands over the scalpel and heads to the golf course, while the nurse follows the instructions of some guy at a call center in Mumbai.)

And so this little startup operation is no different — except that the budget constraints are so tight that we can’t even afford Bangalore or Tianjin or the usual call-center suspects.

But there’s always a solution if you’re creative enough. I’ve carefully scoured the internet for cheap, second-hand laptops and shipped them to Africa, where they have been set up for use by an infinite number of monkeys — perhaps might be the only users who haven’t displayed outright hostility toward Windows Vista.

Given enough time, they hopefully will produce another Hamlet, although — since this is meant to be a commercial enterprise — I’d really prefer the next Da Vinci Code, a good diet book, or perhaps something really commercial, like a combination of the two.

Anyway, An Infinite Number of Monkeys have been at work since we started the extensive beta testing for the site — which is to say for about two hours now. So far, they’ve produced thousands of lines of gibberish, a recipe for Bananas Foster, and — oddly enough — a complete transcript for the Rush Limbaugh show from June 22, 2006.

But we’ll keep checking in and hope for something good.